Plot Twist!

When I was a kid I wanted to be a famous actress, a writer, or a teacher.  The problem with the famous actress goal was that I was pretty shy.  I've never earned a living from it, but I have actually always been a writer.  My third grade teacher, Mrs. Otopaul helped me to develop that. I remember she had these folders with pictures from magazines.  Our job was to choose a picture and write a story about it.  Then at some point we would read our story to the class.  From there, I started to write my own books.  No one else ever saw those books, but I remember working on them.  Mrs. Otopaul was my favorite teacher ever, and I know it was her influence and creativity that made me want to be a teacher. The great thing about being a teacher is you do get to be an actor, writer, artist, nurse, counselor and so many other jobs all rolled into one.

As a teacher I have always loved teaching reading and writing.  I stressed with my students the important parts of good story structure.  You need interesting characters, a story setting, and then you develop your plot.  After you have introduced your characters, those characters will encounter problems.  To keep things interesting you will have plot twists that build interest and suspense, until there is a resolution and closing to your story.

Real life tends to be that way too, and recently we have had a lot of unexpected plot twists. Last fall I was struggling with getting back into school routine after working at the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden during the summer.  I wanted to keep my hand in at the Botanical Garden by working on weekends there, at the same time as I was doing my AmeriCorps Reading tutoring four days a week.  I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I told myself that if I continued to feel this way, I gave myself permission to change what I was doing after the beginning of the year.

Plot Twist!  I have been having more problems with my asthma.  I was telling my doctor this when I had my annual physical in October.  She was concerned and referred me to a pulmonologist, who then referred me to a cardiologist.  Lots of lung and heart tests followed. As all this was going on, and the anxiety increased, I had increased breathing problems. I began to wonder if issues with my health were going to determine how I spent my time.  The good news, none of the tests showed heart damage.

Plot Twist!  I did get referred for a sleep study.  It turns out I have sleep apnea, and I am now adjusting to using a CPAP machine.

Things settled back into a routine, and I learned how to better balance my work at Phillips and my work at the botanical garden.  As an AmeriCorp Tutor, I knew this would be my last year.  AmeriCorps operates on a grant, and you are only allowed to have four contracts.  This is my fourth, so now is the time to think about how I want to spend my time in the future.  What things are most important to me?  What makes me happy?  Would I be happy spending all my time at home, as some people do in retirement?

Plot Twist!  The Coronavirus began to make it's way around the world.  After hitting China, Italy, Spain and other countries hard, it made it's way to the United States. Schools are closed, restaurants and stores are closed.  The Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden is closed.  Instead of enjoying our usual spring break activities, we are practicing social distancing and self quarantine.  In less than a week's time life has changed drastically.

My son lives in Madrid, Spain, which has been hard hit by this pandemic.  This virus is just taking hold in the United States.  Here is where people have to confront and resolve the problems, and hopefully gain some self realization.

We don't yet know what the outcome to this story is.  How many people will become ill?  How many will die?   Could it happen to me or someone I love?  What kind of economic impact will this have?

While we don't know the final outcome to this story, as the main characters, we can decide how we are going to approach these problems.  Do we deny the reality of things that are happening?  Do we let terror and fear take over?  Do we just keep going?  My goal is to learn what I can from this situation. It is a terrible situation, but I want to find the positives where ever I can.

 I am already watching as family and friends are finding creative ways to reach out and connect with each other.  Teachers are finding ways to connect with students and provide instructional opportunities.  Coworkers are working to get food into the hands and stomachs of kids who need it. People are meeting using apps like Zoom,Skype, or Microsoft Teams. It makes me proud to be connected to these people.

I am going to use this as an opportunity to work on things here at home, set priorities, and find constructive ways to use my time. I want to find some joy in each day.  It is an opportunity to practice being more retired.  I get scared, but I don't want to let fear take over.

I'm sure there will be more plot twists, but I am looking for a happy ending and new insights about those things that are most important to us all.

Hope

School is closed for the next 14 days.  We won't go back until March 30th. We were supposed to be out of school for spring break all of this next week.  Even that week feels a whole lot different than what I had anticipated.  Now instead of being out and about, I will either be home or at my Mom's place.

My son lives in Madrid, Spain which has been hard hit by the Coronavirus.  Thousands are sick, schools and businesses are closed, people are confined to their homes.  This is a very serious situation.  I will follow the guidance of others and use social distancing and stay home. By doing so, hopefully we can avoid having this virus spread in the way it has in other countries.

We have certainly never experienced a situation such as this pandemic.  While  I take it seriously, I don't want to be controlled by fear.  I'm trying to view it as an opportunity to practice being more retired.  I enjoy being home, and God knows, I have plenty that needs to be done around here, but between being an AmeriCorps tutor and volunteering at the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden, I am often on the run.  During this next few weeks I'm going to use this as a time to work on my 20 Goals for 2020, which I wrote about in January.

One of the projects I am working on today is planning for my garden.  I used my little pot maker and paper that my sister gave me, to make more seed starting pots.  Last weekend I planted some coleus seeds and Big Girl Tomatoes. Today I started Jelly Bean Tomatoes, hot peppers, and sweet peppers.

I have nestled my little paper pots inside cups and mugs.  I have a massive collection of cups and mugs I have acquired over the years.  It is one of my favorite souvenirs to buy when I visit new places.  They bring back wonderful memories, but I just have certain ones I really like to drink out of.  Instead of using gardening trays, I went to Goodwill and found some plastic tea trays to hold my cups.  It may not be research based gardening strategies, but I'm having a lot of fun with it.

We are all hearing about all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer that people have been hoarding.  Well, we all have our priorities.  I stocked up on the things that are most important to me.  Earlier this week, I made sure I had a good tea supply, and yesterday I stocked up on dog food.  Now we can stay in as long as we need to.

Planting a seed is full of hope, and that's what we need right now.  Hope, growth, and a sense of humor.  That and kindness will help us get through this difficult time.

Gratitude for Today

• 1. I am thankful for friends who are sharing hopeful and positive information and thoughts.
• 2. Laughter!  
• 3. I am thankful for my son and daughter.  Stay safe and healthy.

One of my other goals for 2020 is to blog more.  I am going to try to do that during this next few weeks.  It is a way to reach out and connect with others, at the same time I am spending time in my own space.  This is a chance to use social networking in a positive way.

Take care of yourselves, friends.  Stay safe and healthy and don't forget to reach out to others.

A Good Night's Sleep

A few weeks ago I had a sleep study.  I have never been much of a sleeper.  I usually go to sleep by nine thirty or ten at night, but I don't stay asleep.  I wake up multiple times during the night, and if I have a lot on my mind, I sometimes cannot go back to sleep.  I rarely sleep until my alarm goes off.  I am usually up by four thirty or five a.m.

I never really thought a lot about it.  I figured this is just the way I am.  I viewed myself as a morning person.  My daughter and my sister thought otherwise, which is what prompted us to discuss my sleep patterns with my cardiologist and pulmonologist.

Turns out I have sleep apnea!  I am now getting used to using a CPAP machine.  It is not an easy adjustment, but I am already sleeping longer than I was.

I have to laugh at myself, because I have several friends who use CPAPs, but never once did I wonder if I had similar sleep issues.  Well, live and learn!  Now I am asking these friends a lot of questions about their experiences.  Oh, and I've had to start setting the alarm clock when I need to be up at a certain time.

My Gratitude for Today

1. I slept 7 1/2 hours last night without waking or getting up once.  I am beginning to adjust to the CPAP machine.
2. Time with friends, and their willingness to share their wisdom and experience with me.
3. I have a wonderful and caring daughter.
4. We are having some nice weather with warmer temperatures and beautiful sunshine.
5. I am getting in the mood to start some seeds for my garden.  
6. My work at the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden.  It is such a beautiful place to spend time. The pictures above are from the Gardener's Show House.

Mystery Cairns in the Garden

Working at the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden is such a nice escape from the doldrums of an Iowa winter.  I was there on Saturday morning doing maintenance in the Gardener's Show House.  As I was wiping down tables, removing dead leaves from plants, and sweeping up, I discovered these cairns that had been built among the succulents.

A cairn is a man-made pile of stones. They are built as a landmark, a memorial, or a trail marker, and they have been used since prehistoric times. The word cairn, comes from Scottish Gaelic:  carn. Cairns are often placed on a hilltop or at the skyline. These cairns were placed on larger rocks placed among the potted plants. I wouldn't even know what a cairn is, if not for my cousins, Rich and Susan Cairn, who adopted that name when they married.  Seeing these cairns definitely made me think of them.

These are actually mini-cairns, because they are made of pebbles and just an inch or two high.  I don't know if they were built by someone who works in the garden, or a visitor who was passing through, but I hope they remain undisturbed for a while. I always discover something new when I spend time in the Gardener's Show House, and that is such a treat. It really makes me smile.

The seed magazines are starting to arrive in my mailbox, and the gardening programs are showing up on QVC, which I watch a lot.  I am getting the urge to set up my greenhouse shelves and start some seeds, though I know I should probably wait another week or two.  I did dig out some of my Iowa gardening books.  It's not too early to start planning.

I like the ideas suggested in Gardening In Iowa and Surrounding Areas by Veronica Lorson Fowler. She says to set up a three ring notebook.  Draw a plan for the yard and garden.  Take photos of your garden.  Use folders to keep empty seed packets, so you know what to order the next year.  This is right up my alley!  Last year I used a website called, Plangarden.com.  I may do that again, but I kind of like the more hands on approach, drawing my plan and taking photos of my garden.  I may do a combination of the two.  It is just so much fun, to know that it is time to start planning and thinking about my garden.

Gratitude for Today

1. I am grateful for the horticulturists at the Botanical Garden, who work so hard to create and maintain this beautiful place. They are so kind and welcoming, and I am learning from them.
2. I am grateful for the courage to try new things.
3. I am thankful for time at home.

The Iowa Caucus

Last Monday I participated in the Democratic Iowa Caucus.  This was my fourth time participating in the caucus, and this time I was caucusing for Elizabeth Warren. 

My caucus site is a middle school about a mile from my home.  It is handicap accessible and we used the gym.  In an earlier caucus, we used the auditorium.  In both cases, there were plenty of places for people to sit or move around to talk to others.  This time our precinct  had 157 participants.

Before we entered the gym there were tables set up to sign in, register, or even change your affiliation.  So if you were an independent or Republican and you wanted to participate in the democratic caucus, you could do that by changing your party affiliation.  If you were not registered, but had identification, you could do that and still participate that night.

Initially most people sat in a section with others supporting the same candidate.  As people came in, it became easier to see which candidates had the most supporters.  At our site, Bernie Sanders had the most, followed by Pete Buttigieg, Joe Biden and then Elizabeth Warren, Amy Klobuchar, and Andrew Yang.

It's important to understand that the caucus is organized and supported by volunteers.  From what I understand, there were approximately 1700 volunteers across the state of Iowa.  These people have given of their time, attending training, and doing their best to understand new rules, set things up, and keep things organized and friendly. I was supposed to be one of those people, but when my mother became ill in January, I was not able to follow through.

Shortly after 7:00, the leader of our caucus introduced himself and began explaining the caucus rules.  He invited questions, and went over things carefully so that we would understand the procedure.  Then the precinct leaders for each candidate gave a short speech on behalf of their candidate, explaining why they supported that candidate.

One of the things I am most impressed by is the way people began to talk with others about their reasons for supporting their candidate.  They supported their opinions with information they had read, and many did further research as we sat there.  It was all done politely and with a willingness to listen to others.  This was a whole lot different than the political ads and rhetoric we hear on television.

In order for your candidate to be viable, you had to have enough supporters.  I believe it was 15% of the total voters present. At first Elizabeth Warren was a few people short.  Some of the members of our group invited Amy Klobachar's supporters to join us.  She did not have enough caucusers.  Several of them did, making Warren a viable candidate.  Again, I was impressed with the conversation between the two groups about the issues that these two candidates shared and where they were different.

Once people had sorted into their groups we filled out our paper ballots.  Filling out a paper ballot was new this year, and I really liked this.  It means there is a physical record of where the voters stand.  As these were turned in, the caucus leaders carefully sealed them into envelopes.  This was done right in front of us, so there was no question about how it was done.

I finally left around 8:40.  The volunteers and those who wanted to represent us at the next step, remained to get further instruction and wrap things up.

This was an event where people were trying to do their best to be good citizens who participate in the political process.  People were courteous, kind, and friendly, even though we didn't all share the same viewpoint. 

It was a huge shock to wake up the next day to a divisive hate storm from the press and people across our country.  Now it is coming out that there was purposeful interference from a Republican organization to interfere with the counting of votes. Here is a link to an article on Business Insider:  Trump Supporters Swarmed Iowa Caucus Lines.  This is dirty politics!  For the most part people have chosen to ignore that and post memes about how Iowa democrats can't count or are stupid. 

I am stunned and disappointed, but I am going to learn from it.  I am going to be more careful about my criticism of others.  Social media and reality TV have made it okay to make fun of people, to be divisive and hateful.  This is a very dangerous road to travel, and it is easy to get swept up in it before realizing what we are really doing. 

• Our democracy is at stake!  
• Our way of life is at stake!  
• The future of our kids and our planet is at stake!  

I am going to try to do better.  We all need to.  I am not really a political person.  I am going to change that.  I am going to be more active as we move toward this next presidential election.  I'm not only going to vote.  I'm going to support and campaign for my candidate, whoever that ends up being,  I pray that others will do the same.  We cannot afford to be passive.

Learning, Growth, and Nature's Surprises

When I am feeling stressed and worried, I am more likely to make mistakes and forget things.  Okay, that might be lots of times, but it really shows up when I am feeling stressed.  Today is a good example of that.  My mother and sister are on their way back from Arizona.  They will be here tomorrow.  I have been working on getting Mom's place ready.

As I wrote in my last post, my mother has been ill and was hospitalized.  My wonderful sister flew to Arizona, and has been driving my mother back home.  Normally they take three days for these trips, but my mom tires easily, and they are taking five days this time.  Thus the worry and stress.

I have been working on getting Mom's place ready for winter living.  I put warm sheets on the bed, bought groceries, and shoveled the snow drifted patio for her little dog.  I was almost ready to leave today, when I decided to walk around the corner to get her mail.  I pulled the door shut and managed to lock myself out.  My purse, my car keys, my cell phone were all sitting on her kitchen island.  They were all safely locked inside, while I was locked out.  Her kind neighbor called for help, and about 45 minutes later someone came to let me in.

Lesson learned!  Never go anywhere without my cell phone, keys and ID!  I also learned that my mother's townhouses have really good security.

All of this definitely added to the stress, but since I can't undo it, I might as well laugh at myself. . . . before other people do.

Life does have it's little moments of beauty however.  A few days ago I noticed that my little snake plant cutting had finally sprouted a new leaf.  Back in April I helped with the Spring Festival at the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden.  We taught people how to plant a piece of leaf cut from a Snake Plant, sometimes called Mother-in-law's Tongue, in a newspaper pot.  The correct name is Sansevieria.

I remember one of the other volunteers said that it takes a really really long time to grow.  Well, it's been nine months, and I had pretty much given up hope that it was going to ever do anything.

And there it was!  Growing!  New life!  And right in the middle of a very stressful two weeks of my life.  New life!  New hope!  Second chances!  Never give up! And just from a small piece of leaf and a little bit of potting soil.

Mom and Jacci are staying with my aunt and uncle in Kansas tonight.  They will be home tomorrow.  Mom is doing better.  Jacci is awesome and I am so lucky to have her for my sister.  I will be so grateful to have them both back at home.

My Gratitude for Today

• Second chances!  Mom is doing better.
• My wonderful sister, who works hard, and makes things happen.
• New chances to learn and grow.
• Tenacity!
• Plants.  They are life, beauty, mystery, and so much more.

Birthday Surprises

Last Thursday was my birthday.  There wasn’t a lot of celebrating that went on, in fact there were a couple of times during the day that I had to remind myself that it was still my birthday.

Around 1:00 the day before, I looked at my phone and noticed that my mother, who spends winters in Arizona, had called.  Most of the time I do not carry my phone with me at work, and when I do, I keep it muted.  She had called about a half hour before. 

It is unusual for her to call me during the day, so I did decide to give her a quick call back.  When she answered I could tell she was not well.  Her voice was shaky and she had great difficulty finding words to express herself.  My mother is a stroke survivor, so this is of grave concern.  I told her I would call her when I got home.

 I then contacted her neighbor and asked him to check on her.  I called my sister, and she called him as well.  He and another neighbor, who is a nurse, examined Mom and decided to call an ambulance.  Mom spent that night in the emergency room and was admitted to the hospital around 3:30 the next morning, which happens to be my birthday.

It is extraordinarily difficult to be so far away when someone you love is seriously ill.  Her wonderful neighbors have been visiting her, taking care of her dog, and so much more.  I am incredibly grateful for them.

My sister, immediately made plans to fly to Arizona to be with Mom, and then drive her back to Iowa when she is well enough.  Jacci has been calling and talking to Mom’s nurse and case worker so we have accurate information.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful sister. She is a doer, and when she sees a problem, she kicks into action.  She was supposed to fly out at 2:30 on Friday.

We ran into a snag yesterday when a major snow storm moved in.  We kept checking the airline and the flight was still on.  I got in my car and drove all the way across town in this developing blizzard, to pick Jacci up to take her to the airport.  As I approached her exit, the airline notified her that the flight was cancelled.  I turned around and drove all the way back home so I could be snowed in at my own home with my dogs.

My wonderful birthday gift is that Mom is doing much better now and is being released from the hospital later today. Jacci will be flying out tomorrow, and we should have a much better experience getting her to the airport.

So, it was a very interesting birthday.   

I am so grateful for:

1.   My mother’s wonderful caring neighbors. Two years ago, we had another incident when I called Mom and she was having problems.  Her neighbor, Bob, went over and got her help that time too.
2. My awesome sister who has made it possible for Mom to go to Arizona all these years and who is once again, shutting down her business for the week to go be with Mom and drive her home. She also actively communicates with people to get the most accurate information we can.
3.  I am also grateful for Mom’s guardian angel.  I am absolutely convinced she has one.  Four times in my life, someone or something has told me to call her or go see her, and it has turned into a life saving moment.  I’ll write about that in another post.

Winter has definitely arrived here in Iowa.  Mom hasn’t been up here during the winter in many years. I'm sure that will be a challenge for her, but I will be so grateful to have her here where we can be sure that she gets the things she needs. 

Life is full of surprises, and some extraordinary gifts.